bleachlists:


As requested by anon. :) 


Bleach soul reapers have arrived late! What excuse will each of them give? 


Soi Fon: Sorry I’m late. I had more important things to do.


Hisagi: Sorry I’m late. I got lost. Again.


Kenpachi: Sorry I’m late. I’ve been on my way here for like three days. I think maybe Yachiru gave me some bad directions.


Yachiru: Sorry I’m late! Ken-chan was fighting!


Hinamori: Sorry I’m late! I overslept and would have taken a shortcut but I’ve been unable to take shortcuts ever since doing so led me to discover what I thought was the dead body of my captain! 


Matsumoto: Sorry I’m late. I am *super* hungover.


Kurotsuchi: Sorry I’m late. I didn’t want to come. 


Nemu: Sorry I’m late. I was tied up.


Kyoraku: Sorry I’m late! I was aiming for a nap, but I seem to have gone into hibernation.


Nanao: Sorry I’m late. I had to wake up my lazy-ass captain.


Yamamoto: Sorry I’m late. I got my beard stuck in the toaster.


Sasakibe: Sorry I’m late! I set all of my clocks to England time to feel more English and now I never know what time it is!


Omaeda: Sorry I’m late. Had to finish lunch.


Ukitake: Sorry I’m late! I fainted on the way over!


Kiyone & Sentaro: Sorry we’re late! We had to carry our captain back to the barracks!


Gin: Sorry I’m late. I wanted to tease you a little. 


Aizen: Sorry you thought I was late when actually I was here the entire time. Behind you.


Tosen:  Sorry I am late. I became distracted thinking about justice.


Hanataro: Sorry I’m late! I had to clean the barracks and polish the floors and help Squad 11 move furniture and clean the sewers and write some reports before I could come! 


Byakuya: Sorry I am late. I was practicing my comedy routine and lost track of the time.


Yumichika: Sorry I’m late. Arriving beautiful is more important than arriving in time. 


Ikkaku: Sorry I’m late. Had to shave my head.


Ichigo: Sorry I’m late. I was busy saving the world. Again.


Kira: Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t find my abdomen. 


Rose: Sorry I’m late! I had to wait for the properly dramatic moment to arrive.


Shinji: Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t decide which tie to wear.


Kensei: Sorry I’m late. I was babysitting my stupid lieutenants.


Mashiro: Sorry I’m late! I didn’t realize I was supposed to come! 


Unohana: Sorry I’m late. Yamamoto ordered me to stay in the barracks.


Isane: Sorry I’m late. I was with Captain Unohana.


Iba: Sorry I’m late! I couldn’t find my sunglasses!


Rukia: Sorry I’m late! I was looking for Renji!


Renji: Sorry I’m late. I fell asleep in a tree. 


Hitsugaya:
 Sorry I’m late. I have very tiny legs.


Yoruichi: Sorry I’m late! I ran so fast that I ended up in the future!


Komamura:
 Sorry I am late. I saw a squirrel.

usbdongle:

*re-reads sex chapter of fanfiction over breakfast cereal like it’s the morning paper*

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